May 14, 2012 is the day that changed my whole perception of who I am. It's the day that I liberated myself from the sinasim of my beauty being attached to hair or what society honors as beautiful. On that day I big chopped! My hair was only an inch long. I was scared out of my mind! The first couple of days after cutting my hair were very mind boggling. I wondered what people would think of me? How I would now get a mate? Would I be viewed as being attractive? Could I handle the stares?
Well, truth is, the first month I couldn't! I was too afraid! I wasn't confident with out my hair. I felt like I looked like a boy! I was frightened by the idea of others looking at me differently. So I got braids... I know, I know... I just couldn't handle the pressure...
All my life I viewed myself through the lense of others. I felt that I would be beautiful if I lossed weight..If I was lighter... If my hair was longer, or straighter even.... I felt that I had to be a certain way. I had to look a certain way. But, today as a result of taking this journey, I am learning that beauty is more than an outward appearance. It goes beyond how people see me, but it is an outward expression of what I think of myself internally. When I cut my hair, I felt as though I was cutting off past dissapointments.. Past insecurities.. And as if I was screaming loudly for all the world to hear, I am fearfully and wonderfully made! I am beautiful! I am special! I am unique!! With make up or without it! With hair or non at all! I am happy to be me! I love the skin I'm in!
And I am excited about this journey! My one year natural anniversary is vastly approaching and I cannot wait to do a length check!
Please look out for my 1 year progress!! Can't Wait!!
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